Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â [(Don't you know it)]

Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â [(Don't you know it)]

Friday, November 21, 2008

â™ 2:57 PM

In life, there will be people who enter and leave. You know, somehow you do, that they will only be in your life for a short while. At times like this, you feel that they should carry a sign, a sign that prevents you from letting them in. Danger! Keep out. Beware, you fool, that would be good. But you choose to be blind. You invite them in graciously, hoping that for once, they would stay. You close the door and stay, please, you pray and hope. You know they won’t but you choose to believe, perhaps that’s how the mind works. It makes you a blundering fool. No regrets, you rationalized. That would rob you of this opportunity; the wonderful experience you would think back in years to come and smile yourself silly. Smile and think of the wonderful memories, like a kid who receives her first hairbrush.

Crush, you suggest. Crush. Crush, crush, crush. Crush, I hate that ugly word. You are now reduced to a kid who has a crush on her 10 year old classmate because on Wednesday, he gave you his purple gummy-bears. He scored highest for English and you think, how smart. How smart and kind. I think I have a crush on him.

Hmm love, perhaps, you try again. Love, I hate love. It leaves a bitter taste in the mouth, the way the word rolls around your tongue, looooove. Everything has to be reduced to love, an equation. I love you. You love me. We love each other. I+You=Love Forever. Everyone loves everyone nowadays. Is that a trend, the in thing, with all the hugs and kisses, I wonder. How pathetically sad. Love is sacred, love is saying it when you really mean. Love, Me. It doesn’t work that way, you fools. It’s not love, how juvenile.

Then you go oh god, why. Why oh why. You know the answer, oh you damn well do but still, you do it to reassure yourself. You ask for help, knowing fully well what it means and why it’s happening. You do it anyway; it’s a ritual to comfort yourself. Life’s a ritual, isn’t it? Then one day, you give up. No, the answer didn’t just come to you like, oh! You knew it all along, you idiot. For the second time, you tell yourself, perhaps not everything has to happen for a reason. It happens because it happens. It’s just one of those things and they are just one of them. How irrevocable that sounds, you are just one of them. Like an apple in a basket, 3 for $1. Take your pick; you are just one of them.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

â™ 11:59 PM

"my full name is s. adilah ong ah di"

"really?"

"yes"

"really?"

"err...no?"

PORTFOLIOr

dingalingaling

THE GIRL r

S.A'Dilah
Undergraduate
the helmet hair

07031987

TORCHES r

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